i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
