The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
only if we run a train.
done.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
