my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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