do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
