I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
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