Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
