we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
