garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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