There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
