hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
