Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
