i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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