I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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