I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
