I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
