Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
