Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
