do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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