some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
