Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
