My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize