He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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