I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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