Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
