i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
