where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
