I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
