There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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