I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
