Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
