How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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