i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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