She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
