I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
