Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
