i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
