Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
