He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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