Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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