so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
