they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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