All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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