Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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