1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Randomize
