the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
