some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
