I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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