I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
did i just pee glitter
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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