How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
