I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
