I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
