do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
